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Jan 4
I’ve made a decision this year on the advice of a old friend to just say bollocks to, not only the environment,but also to the way of life I’ve been used to. He quite rightly pointed out that there really is no need for me to carry on doing what I’m doing and I would be much better off if I did something else.
I have a drawn up a 11 point plan to get me started.
- Bin My Energy Saving Bulbs – It will be good getting back to the good old fashion type, they’re a lot brighter and cheaper to put in.
- Stop Recycling – I’ll just bin all my plastic, paper, cardboard, glass, garden and kitchen waste. Not separating these out should save me at least 2 minutes a day.
- Buy a wide-screen TV – One the same size as my living room wall, the biggest I can get with as many channels as humanly possible.
- Stop walking – I tend to take at least one or two walks a day, especially in the summer but instead I’ll get my exercise in front of a Wii wired up to my wall sized TV.
- Stop growing my own and stop foraging – From now on all my food will come via a supermarket delivery service. This also means I can spend more time playing on the Wii or watching TV. It will mean I no longer have to wait for the right season for my food, I can enjoy it all year round.
- Bin the bike – I’ll learn to drive and get a car. It will be handy for those short trips to the shops.
- Fly more – Perhaps I’ll fly to see my sister in Brussels next time I see her rather than get the Eurostar. She does live much nearer the train station than the airport but isn’t that what taxi’s were made for? I’ll also try and squeeze in around 2-3 long haul flights a year, some of those resorts you don’t have to leave all week sound nice.
- Turn the heating up – It can get cold in my house and there is no reason I should not be able to walk around my house in just my underpants in the middle of winter!
- Start shopping for fun – I don’t have nearly enough things, I mean I only own 2 DVD’s for christ sake, how have I survived all year I must be in an entertainment deficit, I don’t even own a box set of anything!!!
- Get a 9-5 job – This change in life-style doesn’t come cheap so I’ll have to give up my studies and get a full time job. I could get a job in a bank or go back to office temping, I did really enjoy my old job as a data entry clerk.
- Take some medication – I might get a little down at first, this is inevitable when undertaking such a change in lifestyle. I hear Seroxat is good for that kind of thing and it has very little side-effects. Failing that, I’ll just drink heavily.
3 Responses to “Bollocks to the environment”
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LOL!
Think I will point people to this blog entry whenever I hear the old “oh but why bother, you’re not making any difference you know”. -
Alex said on June 11th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Love it.
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Very, very well said! I needed a bit of sarcastic humour tonight and this post is brilliant! Unfortunately, I think most of the UK will fail to see the humour in this as they’ll be agreeing with your proposals
Thanks x
Vicky
