I have a drawn up a 11 point plan to get me started.

1. Bin My Energy Saving Bulbs – It will be good getting back to the good old fashion type, they’re a lot brighter and cheaper to put in.
2. Stop Recycling – I’ll just bin all my plastic, paper, cardboard, glass, garden and kitchen waste. Not separating these out should save me at least 2 minutes a day.
3. Buy a wide-screen TV – One the same size as my living room wall, the biggest I can get with as many channels as humanly possible.
4. Stop walking – I tend to take at least one or  two walks a day, especially in the summer but instead I’ll get my exercise in front of a Wii wired up to my wall sized TV.
5. Stop growing my own and stop foraging – From now on all my food will come via a supermarket delivery service.  This also means I can spend more time playing on the Wii or watching TV. It will mean I no longer have to wait for the right season for my food, I can enjoy it all year round.
6. Bin the bike – I’ll learn to drive and get a car. It will be handy for those short trips to the shops.
7. Fly more – Perhaps I’ll fly to see my sister in Brussels next time I see her rather than get the Eurostar. She does live much nearer the train station than the airport but isn’t that what taxi’s were made for?  I’ll also try and squeeze in around 2-3 long haul flights a year, some of those resorts you don’t have to leave all week sound nice.
8. Turn the heating up – It can get cold in my house and there is no reason I should not be able to walk around my house in just my underpants in the middle of winter!
9. Start shopping for fun – I don’t have nearly enough things, I mean I only own 2 DVD’s for christ sake, how have I survived all year I must be in an entertainment deficit, I don’t even own a box set of anything!!!
10. Get a 9-5 job – This change in life-style doesn’t come cheap so I’ll have to give up my studies and get a full time job. I could get a job in a bank or go back to office temping, I did really enjoy my old job as a data entry clerk.
11. Take some medication – I might get a little down at first, this is inevitable when undertaking such a change in lifestyle.  I hear Seroxat is good for that kind of thing and it   has very little side-effects. Failing that, I’ll just drink heavily.

So for a treat (or not) here are a few poems penned by Stephen Stranger back in 2007.

Cakes and Biscuits

It’s a large biscuit
But could be a cake
I don’t like cake
Biscuits are different
Thugs of the confectionary world
Dipping and dunking
They like things hot
A cake is a wimp
It will crumble at the first sign of trouble
Cakes are soft
Biscuits are hard
But they can break at any moment

Coffee for one

Coffee for one
I don’t drink coffee
Coffee for two
Is there any tea?
Just futility

Ducks are Dangerous

Ducks are dangerous,
Their little beaks can hurt you,
Not just physically
They seem innocent swimming in ponds
But keep an eye on the duck behind you

Ducks are dangerous,
They’re thieves with feathers
They won’t steal things from you
But you will notice something’s missing
When you’ve been near a duck

Ducks are dangerous
But geese are worse
Addicts of the bird world
They’ll take a drink without asking
Sometimes tea but they like a hard drink

It is often the last thing you expect
Out on walk in the country
A Muscovy duck is the worst
Not quite a duck or a goose
Steal its eggs, it won’t like it

The Sea weed

The sand was wet, the sea weed