Chef within a chef

dave — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:28:56 +0000

My chest-freezer has been full to bursting since the summer with all the fare Andy and I have procured at the various literary festivals we’ve attended this year. It seems these days it’s hard to go anywhere in world of books without finding a plump, organic fed celebrity chef touting his or her latest ware.

So having bagged five of them throughout the year, this Christmas I intended to make a meat extravaganza of a chef within a chef within a chef…. Etc.

The recipe is based on a delightful British culinary tradition of a bird within a bird, in which a small bird such as a pigeon, quail or even blackbird is stuffed inside a larger bird such as a chicken or duck. These two birds are then stuffed inside a much larger bird such as a goose or a turkey. The combination of textures and flavours results in a luxurious dish where the diner can consume a week’s food in a single meal!

The chef within a chef recipe is even more indulgent as the diner attempts to eat a months worth of meat in a single sitting.

Ingredients

Five celebrity chefs of increasing sizes boned and gutted
One bottle of nettle beer (preferably Stinger)
A ‘flavour shaker’ full of home-grown herbs and spices (preferably grown by a professional gardener in your five acre Hampshire garden)
A churn of Butter
Chestnuts
Some Fat Hen leaves
300 Cloves of garlic
Salt and Pepper to taste

Method

1. The night before your feast, marinate your Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (or second smallest chef) in the nettle beer. I’ve used Stinger beer rather than waste my home-brew.

2.Stuff your Anthony Worral-Thompson with the chestnuts and hemlock, sorry, fat-hen leaves and baste in butter.

3. Remove the tongue of your Jamie Oliver and set aside

4.Lovingly insert the Anthony Worral-Thompson into your Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall using extra butter if any lubrication is needed.

5.Mop up any drool from the side of your Valentine Warner’s mouth before basting in butter and inserting the first two chefs.

6.You may feel you’re running out of room to put the three chefs inside your Jamie Oliver but having removed the tongue there will be ample space in the oral cavity.

7.Place the 300 cloves of garlic in your ‘flavour shaker’ along with the homegrown herbs and spices and coat the skin of the Jamie. Having been raised in Essex the Oliver’s skin can be a little on the tough side so this is an essential part of the preparation.

8.For the last step it is important to have a team of runners on hand as the combined weight of the chefs is quite considerable. Place your Gordon Ramsey on an extremely large baking tray with its head facing away from you. Take your four stuffed chefs and shove them all in the nearest orifice.

9.Roast in a moderate oven for a week.

10. Serve with roast potatoes and a side of seasonal vegetables.

Dave's blog » Celebrity Chefs

Chef within a chef